The 12 Rules of Concert Etiquette

12 Rules of Concert Etiquette | Eat Sleep Breathe Music

When I was in high school and used to go to a lot of concerts, I would always take note of the people around me and notice certain things throughout the show that we’re kind of annoying, and sometimes bordered on gross. I decided to put together a list of rules of etiquette that I thought someone should follow when going to a show. See below for the 12 rules to follow the next time you go to a show

1. Wear deodorant!

For all you adolescent males reaching puberty out there this rule is directly stated to you. For the love of god wear deodorant and some cologne so you don’t smell bad! One too many times I have been at a show and there is a nasty, sweaty person who smells bad. I realize that every one is squished up next to each other and they are all sweaty from all the body heat. I know that girls can just as sweaty as the boys, but come on now its just gross not to wear deodorant. It will impress the people around you. Hey, who knows, you may be able to pick up a cute chick if you are the one of the few guys who smells good.

2. If your hair is past your shoulders please tie it up!

This rule does apply to males too! For you guys who like to wear your hair long please keep it tied up. The worst thing is when your standing in the crowd and there is a big hairball in your face. Sweaty, natty hair is a big turn off for the girl standing behind you. I remember I was at the Warped Tour this past summer and there was this guy in front of me who had hair down to the middle of his back. It was a big ratty mess. If only he would have tied it up it would not have been such a pain to my friends and I who were standing behind him.

3. If at all possible don’t crowd surf because there are bloody consequences.

Okay, so I know you’re probably going, “but I love to do that.” Well, honestly, crowd surfers are really annoying; especially when you have to constantly look back to make sure some idiot coming along doesn’t kick you in the head. Some people get really agitated by those who keep crowd surfing and will go to great lengths to stop them by taking their shoes, punching them in the balls, or the face. So if you don’t want to get your nuts grabbed by some pissed-off concert dweller, then don’t crowd surf.

4. If you must crowd surf only do it if you weigh less than two hundred pounds.

People who should just not be doing this are always trying to get people to lift them up so they can crowd surf. The worst is when you get some big burly man trying to get a bunch of ninety-pound girls to lift him up. I mean come on you’re not going anywhere buddy so just forget it. I was at a show and one guy who was with the band wanted everyone in the crowd to pick him up because he wanted to videotape it. This guy must have been two hundred sixty pounds. I was in the front where he wanted to go and there were a bunch of skinny guys and little girls. Another tip for crowd surfers is if you fall right after you get lifted, don’t try to do it again because you’re not going to stay up.

5. When you are dancing in the pit, don’t be that guy who smashes into people just because you like to.

Okay, we know how rough the pit can get at some shows, but honestly, don’t be a jerk because people will only get angry at and beat the crap out of you. People like to be rough, but don’t be an asshole just because you like to. So dance around and have a good time, but don’t screw with people because you might just wind up getting your ass beaten.

6. Whatever you do if it is all possible don’t wear a backpack, if you must carry a bag, wear one that goes over your shoulder.

I have made the mistake of doing this once when I went to a show. First of all, it is annoying to both you and all the people around you. You have this big thing on your back and its pushing into people and you are taking up much more room than you should be. The other thing is that people might start stealing the stuff you have in the bag just for the hell of it. Bringing a backpack into the crowd is just a bad idea. Leave it home unless you absolutely need it. In that case, you should try to check it with the venue where the show is held.

7. Only push the crowd after the crowd has pushed you first.

The crowd may begin to get rough when the main act comes on stage, don’t be that guy who just goes around pushing everyone for no reason. People will get pissed and might put gum in your hair or punch you in the face. So if you feel the crowd starting to sway, keep your feet planted on the ground and hold your position as steady as you can so you don’t fall down. If you fall that will be the end of it and you won’t be able to come back up.

8. When trying to get up to the front don’t plow your way through the crowd.

Instead, go slowly and try to excuse yourself so people around you won’t get annoyed at your rudeness. If anything, try to run through the pit when there is no one in it and make a mad dash for the stage. You have to be quick or otherwise you will get caught up in the crowd and might fall.

9. Don’t throw one of those beach balls in the crowd.

No matter how much fun you may think this is, it isn’t really cool to be seen throwing a beach ball around. No real man would stand there and volley a beach ball. You have better things that will take up the time waiting for the show to start. Like yelling out “Show your boobs” and seeing if anyone will do it.

10. Please Keep Your Shirt On!

Despite how hot you become and no matter how nice of a body you may have, do not take your shirt off! It’s just not kosher to do that at a show. Even if you think that you are sweaty with your shirt on; you are going to be even sweatier with your shirt off. No one around you will want to stand by you for risk of rubbing up against your shirtless body. So keep your shirt on.

11. If you have a drink, don’t take it into the crowd.

You know how annoying those people who have drinks are when they spill them all over you. Especially those drunk people who just fall all over the place and spill beer on your shoes. It is just annoying when people have drinks in a crowd because you know something is likely to happen. Keep your drinks away from the stage.

12. If you’re in the mosh pit and made someone fall, pick them up.

This is an important rule and will make you a better person for doing it. If you see someone who falls don’t laugh and point, but instead help him or her up. You know if you were on the ground you wouldn’t want some jerk to just kick you and keep going. If you couldn’t get up on your own you would want someone to help you out.

These rules will help you to be concert educated. I advise you to follow these guidelines so you don’t become “that guy” who doesn’t know how to keep it cool at a show. Don’t let yourself get beaten up over a small thing like this.

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